I feel absolutely freed by the last post. Just wide open better all the way around. Every time my brain kicks in about we “should” be doing this and down on myself – I can short circuit the thought and say – well you aren’t there, you are here and this is where you are supposed to be.

It’s been literally like ninety bricks are off my shoulders.

I even started working on my bills and got I think a way to slowly get out of this place.

And then as if on cue, Ru showed up and with some encouragement we went out and raked and bagged the front half of the house. 7 bags and a blister and the message of maintenance came back into my view.

That has been a message I have heard several times but never sunk too far in. I usually don’t like to do a little and then a little. I apparently wait until it’s over my head and then dig in with a passion unbridled until I’m overwhelmed. Bad pattern, down pattern. Bad!